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Free Therapy with Shaniqua
How To Reparent and Heal Your Inner Child, Forgiving Your Mom
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Healing Inner Child From Your Mother
We explore the essential journey of healing your inner child, specifically focusing on the relationship with your mother. Understanding and nurturing your wounded inner child is vital for emotional intelligence and psychological well-being. We will discuss various well-being practices and strategies to help you develop a balanced mindset and foster self-awareness.
Begin your journey toward a more compassionate self and learn to embrace your inner child with love and understanding. Tune in and take the first step towards a healthier, happier you!
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05:00 How to Heal Your Inner Child From Your Mother
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Figure out why do I want to forgive my mom? How will it benefit me? Yeah, on the couch. It's time for your free therapy. I know you read that title already, and I already know what you're thinking. She does not deserve my forgiveness for all that she has put me through. She does not deserve my forgiveness for the things I had to endure from a young age. All those thoughts. You are valid. You have. I'm going to give you a thought. I'm gonna let you sit in it for like one or two seconds. Sit in how you feel. Sit in how your mob made you feel over the years. The times that you had to go through life alone. The times of being a little girl and just wanting your mom, or the moments where you had your mom and you wish you didn't because of so much that was going on in your life. As soon as you read this title and clicked on this video, you was like, I'm gonna go see what this girl talking about, but don't worry you good sis Sneak is here for you. I'm always. That's the whole purpose of our therapy session, so we can think on it, figure out a plan and work through it. Maybe you won't be in a place of wanting to forgive after just clicking off this video, but I want it to be in your mind, in your thoughts as to why you should. Alright, so I want to take you back to maybe when you were between the ages of,
let's say 3:00 to 6:00 and the feelings of not having your mom there. We're going to start with you first. The little girl who didn't have a mom, the little girl who wanted a mom. The little girl who saw all the other girls with their mom and how special it looked. How just beautiful it looked to you to just see those girls with their mom. Maybe their mom was dropping them off at school or they were shopping with their mom and you always wanted that. OK, put you there. Now, to the girl between the age of three to six who had their mom, but it felt like she wasn't there with them. It felt like their mom was always out to get them. And we gonna get deep into that a little bit later. You're that little girl who just despises her. Like, why are you my mom? I wish I had someone else. I would have loved to have a more caring mom or a mom who was there for me, but you just wasn't that. OK, Now we have ourselves grouped into our stations. I wanted to just think about those feelings that you had as a little girl and the feelings you have now as an adult. Other times we think that we when we get older, we'll forget or we won't be bothered by the things as much. Believe it or not, you are. We tend to grow up to be either our mom or you be the total opposite. Now you may think, Oh my goodness, like I'm the total opposite of my mom because I ain't did nothing she did. I'm not like her. You might not be doing what she actually did, but there's some things that remind you of her or it would remind people of you through her. And don't even get me started when you look like your Mama and she wasn't worth a hill of beans. That's a whole nother story. But we're at the point now where we have to forgive. We have all my goodness. I know, I know y'all like me. It's I understand, I understand. I'm not saying I understand what you went through because it's so many different things that as young women, little girls that you can go through with your mom. Maybe some of you don't really remember being between the age of three to six, but you remember as a teenager how your mom was always on you like you could never please her. Anything you did was just not right or she consider you when those fast little girls I've you know a lot of parents like throw off on their child and you just did not feel a connection with her. You do not feel a connection that you felt that you should feel with a mom as a mom being your mother. You didn't have those moments with her. You didn't have those moments of let's say shopping or going out or spending that mother daughter time. None of that was in your life. That was not your mom sometimes probably have been, you know, abusive. And let's say it's just it's just so many different things that I can't name all off at once right now. But I want you to know that in order to move forward in your life, you have to forgive your mom for what she has done or is still doing. Because we got some moms that still be a hot miss and their child is an adult. Some moms stops is abuse. They're doing those things. So when we get to the point of having to forgive, as we know, it's not for them, it's for us. Because you think that you left that in the past, but you actually could be mothering the way that your mother did. Let's say if you're trying the opposite to be the best mom you could be, which we all should. You know, aim for that goal. Some people can overcompensate their children. They're over. They do too much for their children. They don't let them grow. They don't let them learn. They're hovering over them. And then their child suffers because it's like, just let me breathe. And then you become that parent that your child don't want to be around because you have done this to them thinking you're doing right by them, which you're trying to, but your children don't see it that way. So I would say today you have to learn your child and you have to learn the way that you parent. If you have did not feel that love from your mom, don't try to overdo the love. Some people can overdo it. Just give them that portion of love that you desire for them to have that they know that mom is here for you. They know that mom loves you. Mom just not does not just say she love you, She actually shows it. When mom is wrong, mom is wrong. And when mom is right, mom is right. You have to find a balance between wanting to be that overbearing mother, that friendly mother, and actually being a mother when you are mothering your children, directing them. I don't know how to love. I can't give my kids the love that I didn't have because I didn't know what it felt like. I don't know if I'm doing something wrong. I don't know if I'm going to be a good mom or if I am a good mom. All thing I can really tell you now is that if you are doing everything that you can possibly do for your child, giving them everything they need mentally and emotionally, spiritually praying over them, you're doing all these things is no better mother than that, who knows their child and knows what their child needs and will fight for their child. Now sometimes the kids can do a little extra stuff. Now you need to make sure you got that part under control too. So you get into the realm of forgiveness. You have to figure out why do I want to forgive my mom? How will it benefit me to forgive her? What steps do I need to take in this forgiveness journey? And you may think that it's like, well, let me go tell her how I feel. You have to know your parent. And if they're not willing to accept that because they don't feel they did anything wrong, you have to just focus on you. Now. It's about almost, you're almost in the same boat as having a parent who's not alive anymore because they just disconnected from that whole past of yours. That's your history and they don't want any parts of it. So what I would definitely recommend is to get into deep prayer and to just ask God to allow you to see what it is that's in you that you're holding on to. You're holding on to that little girl, you're holding on to those moments you felt neglected, those moments of abuse. Those are moments you have to take yourself back to. And This is why you really need to work with somebody to help you guide, you know, guide you into it. Take yourself back to those moments. And how do you feel in those moments? And what do you wish would have happened in those moments? And I want you to realize that you can't change it. Those things happened. It's no changing it now. No, it's no changing it. It's nothing you can do to fix your mom, and I need you to know that and to hear it. You cannot fix her. Anything you would try to do now is not going to fix her. It would not have fixed her back then. It would not have helped her. You were a child who needed to be in a child's place. But now that you're here and you realize the struggles you're dealing with because of this, you're realizing the pain. How you handle a relationship, how you get into relationships is a problem already, and how you're operating in them. You're operating from a place of distrust. You're operating from a place of uncertainty, like you don't know what this person would do to you next or if you give them all your love like you gave to your mother, you're not sure what they would do to you. And I think a lot of times we carry things in our subconscious and don't realize that we're doing it. Don't let your past determine your future outcomes. Don't let your past determine who you have become and have steered you in a directions that you can't see clearly. And you just you've lost our hope in yourself because of that, because of what your mom was doing to you or didn't do for you. You lost hope in who you can be. But God is calling you out of all that. God is saying that he desires, of course, for us to be married and to have children to bring life into this world. That is the ultimate goal of us as women, you know, to be. Be playing honest with you. We're the one that carry life through God and we bring life forth and I want that for you and I don't want you to be discouraged because of things that have happened. So once you put yourself in a position of that little girl, that young woman, whoever you was, whenever you've got these feelings of hatred and disconnect from your mom, you put yourself there. And I need you to see yourself coming out of it. See yourself victorious, seeing yourself as a great mother, seeing yourself as a great person in general. If you don't have kids, you know, just seeing that you have become or you can become more than that. And it's all going to start with that forgiveness. Really believe me within yourself that I need to let go of all their hurt and their saying that she calls. I need to let that part of my life go. Because as we grow, we shed off layers of ourselves. We shed off just like a plant grows. It sheds off dying leaves, leaves that serve it no purpose, leaves that's only sucking the life out of it. Because I know I'm a plant person. If you don't know, Nah, you know, And when your plant starts to grow and a leaf starts to die, they tell you to take that leaf off because the nutrients that's coming from the roots up to the the leaves are sucking life still, but it's not going to produce anything because it's dead. So I would encourage you to take that analogy and apply it to yourself that you're allowing what happened to you in the past to still be connected to you. And you're thinking that you disconnected from your mom, but really she's still there. She's still that leaf that's hanging on. And you need to make up in your mind whether you're going to pluck that leaf off or you're going to continuously let a dead leaf stay stuck to you. It's no greater feeling than a feeling of freedom and the feeling of not being burdened down by those past events. And let your heart be free knowing that I forgive my mom for what she has done to me. I forgive her for those things because that's something that she needs to work on. That's those things that she needs to she has to deal with. She has to bear those burdens. I no longer want to bear them. They serve me no purpose. They're only just a Leech. They're, they're no good to me. They're not progressing me. Those feelings are not pushing me forward in my life. They're just holding me down. They're like weights that you constantly keep adding to yourself, adding a weight, adding a weight, but you're already weighted down from being remembering yourself as that little girl. And I need you to let that little girl be free. Let that, let those weights that's hanging onto her ankles untie them. Take them off in Jesus name. Let them. Let me give you like, 'cause I like to visualize things. So let's say you see yourself as a little girl and you see your mom wrapping around weights around your ankles. She's wrapping. All of this hurt, all this pain, all of this anger, all of this dislike. She don't trust you. She don't like you. You're just a burden to her. Why does she ever have you? I can't take care of you. I can't be the best mother to you that I want to be. So I wouldn't give you a way for adoption. Just all of these things. Whatever you feel has caused you that pain in your life from your mom, she's tying it to each weight represents something. So you got screams of weight, screams of weight on both your ankles. And then imagine yourself standing on like a pier or let's say maybe a bridge or something. So your mom has just tied all of these weights to you. And you're sitting there and you're looking at your mom like, why mom? Why me? With tears flowing down your eyes. And I want you to imagine your mom looks at you with a straight face and she begins to push the weights into the water. And you know when weights start falling into word, they have no place to go but down. She pushes all the weights. And then you fall off with the weights. Now you're in the water. The weights are taking you down. You're slowly but fastly inhaling water. You can't breathe. And you're scared of the girl because of all these burdens. These pains that you have are taking you down. They're wearing you down. But now I want you to imagine a vision of light, a light you see off in a distance in the water that catches your attention, that you forget that you weighed it down. You forget that you're even drowning your. Focus on this light and it slowly comes to you. Slowly comes to you. It's the glory of Jesus. Jesus is coming to you and he reaches out his hands, and as he reaches out his hands, each weight begins to untie itself and it goes down. And as you're holding the hand of Jesus, he's lifting you up. You're going up in the water and all these weights are just falling down and Jesus takes you back up top. He places you back on the pier or he places you on the bridge where you was with your mom and you're looking at Jesus and Jesus tells you, I got you. I'm here for you. Never look down. Always stay focused on me. Whatever comes, whatever goes in your life, stay focused on me. I have rid you of all of that burden, all of that weight that has come from your mom. I will wipe your tears away. Follow me. That's what Jesus tells you. And now you're free. Everything that has happened to you, it no longer is, bothers you to the core. It no longer is. It's no longer weighing you down. Even though you may think or you may, something may trigger your memory of it. Those memories, they don't hurt you anymore. You have been set free by the glory of God. You have been set free and released from all of it. And that is what Jesus is doing for you now in this hour. He's releasing you from all of that. And what the enemy does is He wants you to stay burdened down. He wants you to stay held on, bound down, wrapped up, ankles tied up with all of that. But God has released you from it. You have to walk in your healing. You have to walk in it. You have to believe it, that I will. I would know that everything that has happened to me, it served a purpose. It didn't feel good, but it served a purpose. And I forgive my mom for that because that's who she is. That's who she was. That's what she did. But that's no longer my future. That's in the past. That's no longer me. That's not who I am. I am better than that and I still maybe you'll get to the point of saying that you know, you love your mom for who she is because she's your mom. She brought you into this world, She birthed you. And that's the love that you can give her. That's the respect you can give her because she did those things, because that's the respect that we want from our children. If we don't see eye to eye with our kids, we will at least pray that they will still have respect for us as their mother. But you know, some moms are doing too much. And moms like, get on y'all in another video. OK, Yeah, y'all remind me to do that video. Read your Bible, getting your word so you can find daily scriptures to help you on this journey. Because it is a journey. It's not just some snap of the finger. It's done. You can be healed in the snap of the finger. Just imagine that analogy that I just gave you because I really, truly believe that that's what God wants to do for you. But each day is going to be different until you able to stand in front of your mom, if she's still here and say I forgive you for everything. And if forgive me, the forgiveness isn't for you, it's for me and I forgive you. I forgive you for it all. And if your mom is no longer here, you can just stand in your truth knowing that I forgive my mom. I can't I won't be able to tell her, but I know it. I know it deep down inside that I forgive her because I no longer want these weights attached to me and I believe in Jesus name that it is done for you. All right, so guys, I think it's enough for y'all session. I think we went overtime. OK, y'all, y'all I think y'all we're racking up on the bill here and y'all went over y'all time. But I'm just really thankful and blessed to be able to share this time with you guys on our free therapy sessions and I pray that I said something to help you along the way. Some is grout and I don't know if I can hear it is Mike any but the stomach is talking. Oh, come on. Alright, so I'm gonna let you guys have not forget to subscribe and like the video and I will see you guys the next week. Yeah, I'll be blessed.